I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
