Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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