Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
