i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
where are you?
Hypothermia
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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