Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
