I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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