Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
