Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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