Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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