So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
