Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm like, not good at living.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
