Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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