His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
