so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
