He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize