im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
