Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
