she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
