i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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