im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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