I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
