He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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