Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
