i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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