my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
