Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
