Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
