Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
