I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
