I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
