I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
