oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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