PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
