my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
