So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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