he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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