Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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