By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
