i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
