We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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