So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
