I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
