This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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