apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
