Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
