i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
