I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
