My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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