she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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