Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
